Night and day. What do we call platonic dude friends when we feel the need to call attention to their gender?
Reason #1: your places to socialize are limited
Your feelings were left conflicted because of the messy situation, and he listened to the depths of plaotnic confusion. Include me. But even that methodology Lokoing flawed and reductive. He ended up doing me one better — he called. The people we love. Queer femme womenespecially, have a hard time asserting their queerness in a heteropatriarchal society, which ifies things like short dresses and high heels as iconography of male visual pleasure.
Not boyfriends. We both love him.
I can express love and appreciation for my female friends in a million ways, but I can't refer to them as my girlfriends — because as a monogamous lesbian, that would probably give people the wrong idea. Since I have to come out in some form more days than not, casually mentioning my girlfriend is often a good go-to.
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The name has evolved ever-so-slightly throughout the decades, dragging the same two unaltered connotations along for the etymological ride. So we go, instead, with "guy friend," a phrase which comfortably differentiates the platonic friend in question from a love interest. The women in my life are grabbing drinks with girlfriehds girlfriends; complaining over g-chat to their girlfriends; planning bachelorette parties for their oldest, greatest plaonic.
So why feel pressed to specify at all? Make an effort. And I started having— for the first time in my life — actual girlfriends.
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Note that when written, girlfriend is always girlfriend — one word. Boyfriends are certainly not platonic friends. Stop extending him exclusive invitations to hang out and getting disappointed when it never happens.
Years later, you texted him the raunchy details of hooking up with one of your mutual friends. If need be, listeners can pick up evidences of gender using context clues.
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School friends, camp friends, neighborhood friends, ex-friends, best friends — but not girlfriends. Friends who are girls, yes; girlfriends, not so much. Truly, girlfriends near and far praise you for getting our men past these roadblocks, and guiding them down the proverbial road that ended in us. Since when did we get old enough to start talking like our mothers? Because of you.
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He made these choices because he listened to you. Something else happened upon entering my twenties: I came out. Straight and gay? By Shannon Keating Oct. So, realize that the time your best friend spends with me is time well spent. You eventually moved on from that fling and wound up in a relationship yourself. The mention of having a girlfriend can oftentimes occur organically in conversation, so I can force the topic without coming on too strong.
He chose me because he listened to you. I can express love and appreciation for my female friends in a million ways, but I can't refer to them as my girlfriends — vor I, as a monogamous lesbian, would probably give people the wrong idea. Most all of my friends growing up were girls, but I called them, simply, my friends. I promise you, platonic girlfriend, it is truly okay.
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When you finally see us out, stop spending the entire time shoving your new life developments in his ear, or loudly cackling about some obscure event in your past that would be impossible for me to relate to. Talk to me. Like, majorly different.