Pass the pie and other ways we deal with our hurts…
Anger, frustration, sadness, any feeling you can think of; there was always a cookie, cake or pie that was going to make me feel better, for a few minutes or days—until another round of negative emotions hit me, then I was off on the binge again.
Or, I was in a happy place, out with friends at a restaurant and when that bread basket showed up—with butter, of course—I could rationalize all kinds of reasons to eat it—reward, bad day, whatever. It always happened when I had resolved right before I left my home that I was going to choose a healthy meal.
All this inner conflict only created more shame, pain, and a higher resolve to do better next time. This went on for years. I spent money I didn’t have on lose-weight-fast fixes, bought self-help books on weight loss, and joined programs. I even bought “skinny clothes” as an “incentive” to shed the pounds.
And, I was tired—emotionally and physically. Go to the gym, even a short walk? I couldn’t pull myself up to tie my shoes.
I constantly battled negative thoughts and emotions; they always won out until I learned that even with all the willpower and discipline in the world if I didn’t make a change inside, my determination wouldn’t help me when the chips and salsa appeared on the table.
Finally, after too many years of my doctor telling me that I needed to start taking medications because of concerning lab results, and me saying, “No, no, I’ve got this,” when I didn’t, I knew
I had to find another way.
After much prayer for the strength and power to make the needed changes, I determined to research and put into motion a new plan to Take Back My Life!, motivated by an intense desire for freedom from the misery of the feel-binge-diet cycle and the feeling that I had failed—yet again.
As a life coach, I know we don’t do anything alone and succeed. God has created us to seek help outside of ourselves. It’s part of the plan for success because we have only a limited perception of reality and ourselves. We need others to show us the way.
When you’re feeling ashamed, and like a failure, you tend to isolate, keeping you from the real help you need. This behavior is the trap that often leads to just giving up. Not only when it comes to losing weight, but in all the other areas of your life as well.
When I reached out for help and became willing to let go of old ideas and beliefs about weight loss, things began to change. I discovered that losing weight, along with anything else we want in this life, is an inside job. We change; things change.
Here are some new things I’ve learned in the process of getting in control of my eating and total health:
You have to know who you are
Self-awareness is critical because, without it, you will allow your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings to dictate your behavior. You’ll find yourself reaching for the chips, cookies, etc. like a robot!
You have to know what you want
When you discover what’s most important, you will not give into those things that will keep you from your true desires. It takes time; coaching works to help you explore your deepest desires, especially if they’re buried under chips, ice cream, cookies, and cake.
You have to know why you want it
So you can look good in a bikini is temporary, believe me. So think about how you will feel when you finally stop overeating, start exercising, and finally be free from the pain and shame you’ve carried for way too long. Rocking that bikini is part of a bigger picture.
You have to make it a priority–Commitment
There are no quick-fixes! When you’re all in, you’re in for however long it takes. This is true in anything you want to achieve. Learning to say “yes” to you means you may have to say “no” to those activities or associations that will deter you from your plan.
It takes time
While you’re keeping your goal in mind, you only have to concentrate on choosing daily actions that support it. When you learn how to change what has kept you from success in achieving your weight-loss goals, you will find your life changing in other areas of your life—body, mind and spirit.
With God’s grace for the power to get back in control, I just received my lab results back. Here’s the note my doctor wrote on my report: “Labs came back great! Keep up the good work!” I’ve waited 10 years to hear those words.
“A year from now you will wish you had started today.”– Karen Lamb